Fav Pretty in Pink quote:
Duckie: You know what an older woman does for me?
Iona: Changes your diapers?
I say no more.
Who in their right mind puts blue cheese into a cupcake? I fucking love cheese. All cheese. In fact my worst nightmare is to be told I was lactose intolerant and would have to forgo all things dairy. Kill me now *shudders dramatically*. The Robicelli's too have a somewhat unhealthy obsession with coagulated milk, (sounds sexy huh?) and I can totally get on board with this. CHEESE ALL THE THINGS! Seriously though, to take a cheese board, and make a cupcake out of it? this is some dark magic peeps. Pear and olive oil cupcake; Sounds innocent enough, though I was worried the olive oil might taste odd. Blue cheese butter cream frosting; To be fair you had me at cheese. Candied walnuts; Come on! Port reduction; A gift from the Gods. This cupcake is so damn refined it's like an episode of Downton Abbey (disclaimer: Li and I have never actually watched this so I am going on assumptions.) It requires an extended pinky finger and monocle.
Li: Yeah, we classed up this joint. FOR A CHANGE.
So with out further ado lets get started. We packed up all our shit and went on the road this week. Well down the road anyway to the magician responsible for making our videos and photos, and the other part of the Trifecta of Awesome: Friedal. She's had her kitchen remodelled and it needed to be put through it's paces. That, and my husband was sick of the sight of us.
|A beautiful day for baking cupcakes. Stolen supermarket baskets a go-go.|
Things were done and I watched. To be fair she was all over the God damn place. Her tits level was set at Labrador puppy. There was just not enough room for the four of us.
Li: The Girls have their own post code. True story.
I will take a moment to mention the ridiculously small sieve we had to use. I didn't bring mine as I assumed there would be one in house. It was like a modest tea strainer. Friedel, take yourself off to the Foodie shame cave immediately.
|She is so fucking irritating when she is all happy and perky.|
|Li eats eat cake batter and look sultry, I look like I'm about to go down on it.|
|In my defence, there was dripping down the side of the bottle and this shit was too nice to waste even a drop.|
|We Bougie! (I recently had to have this explained to me. I am not "down with the kids")|
Li: Solution? Buy more Port! You’re welcome.
These went into the oven.
These came out.
I interrupt this post to show you what happens whilst waiting for cupcakes to bake.
|Tally Ho! Chocks Away! What What!|
Slice up all of the butter. Seriously, with a cheese slicer, slice it, and I mean all of it. Drool at the yummy blue cheese, (we used Gorgonzola and it was a triumph) the throw in a freshly woken and grumpy toddler. (not mine this time) Well all right don't throw him in as he was mad enough as it was, but cupcakes changed that quick smart. Make awesome frosting. Celebrate in the appropriate Sleazy Bakeshop manner!
Li: Oranje Boven, bitches! There isn’t a Dutch saying that DOESN’T crack me up. I love you, The Netherlands.
Nuts were candied with........butter and sugar. What else? (Giggidy nuts) yes I am twelve.
I now refer you back to the afore mentioned port reduction regret. I wish I had made more of it. I thought I was saving money, (ok this is lie, we just wanted to drink it, it was delicious) but oh how I wanted to drown them in this shit. This egregious error will not happen again.
Li: “Alsof er een engeltje over je tong pist.” Seriously. Use that phrase in your daily life.
I am running out of superlatives at this point so I will just say they are "the tits." Here they are folks, you be the judge.
All the elements of this cupcake are fantastic, truly a work of art, but combined they are master piece. I would go so far as to say Biblical!
On a final note, I want to thank Friedel. She takes our pictures, lets us trash her kitchen, feeds us at the end of the day, and got so giddy about day time drinking. I love Canadians, they are so cute. Anyway you put it, she is amazing, and also responsible for the video you are about to watch. Thank you Missy, we couldn't do it without you.
Li: Awesome Friedel is awesome!
So are you ready? Enjoy the happiness as it really was that kind of a day.
Next up: #5: The Elvis. Banana cupcake, peanut butter frosting and candied bacon. The stuff of legends!