Sunday, October 19, 2014

#9 The Duckwalk, aka: The one that almost got away!

Boom, guess what?
Z - And by back she means we are trying to catch up on the back log. This hot little number was made in June.

Lots of stuff got in the way of this post (Li's tits). Mostly, life, family vacations, and technology malfunctions (seriously, we could not get the freakin' photos off the camera). But it's all good now, and for that you get to enjoy The Duckwalk - a vanilla cupcake with blueberry port mascarpone cream and port blueberries three ways (giggity). So find a chiffon scarf and cue some 70s porn music, we're gettin' involved!

So, we got a little excited about the good weather (it can go from gorgeous to the North Sea spanking you like you stole something from your grandmother's purse), and singing and dancing happened because hell yeah sunshine! Naturally gin and tonic also had to happen. This became problematic, as we were focused on the cocktails and not on getting our shit together.

After a run around the kitchen that made The Three Stooges look graceful, we realized we didn't have any sugar. HOW THE HELL WAS THIS POSSIBLE? One frantic phone call to my husband Rene,. who thankfully arrived with all the sugar I had in my house. We were back on track and then...

I restrained myself admirably. 

...VANILLA DISASTER! We were all out of the good stuff and Dr. Oetker just does not cut it (I want to find this Dr. and punch him in the sack for inventing such crap vanilla. Trust me, it's that bad). So we opted for the real deal and used seeds from a vanilla pod.

Cue the kitchen dancing and cute toddler busting out some moves.

Then it was onto my new favourite kitchen porn toy, a Kitchen Aid! I was happier than happy-filled happiness when it arrived. Zoe turned into a total pornographer and was leering at it like she had a pencil-thin moustache and gold chains and wanted to take photos of it in a wood-panelled basement. To combat this creepy image I decided to name the mixer Pickles. She hates pickles, so that will keep her away, right? Oh Li, I want to pinch your cute little cheeks. Nothing will keep me from Pickles.

This cake was simple to mix and of course delicious, but for some reason we had a lot of leftover batter. We think it's because we now  have scoops so the kitchen looks like less of a train wreck after we pour the batter into the baking tins. We will not stand for wasting batter, so we took the spare blueberries and added them to the batter for a little cake of its own. Because spare cake it a thing in our lives, like back-up bacon and emergency sugar. Back up bacon!!!!!!!

No cupcake is complete with out me doing dirty things to batter and The Monkey getting involved.

May we pause for more hot blueberry action... Hot Hot action. boomchickawaawaa!

It was onto the frosting. Now you know how awesome this frosting is, and then the Robicelli´s made us use some of the blueberry port syrup. Damn you Allison, damn you to hell and back woman! This frosting needs a safe-word because it was so painfully delicious. The safe-word is squirrel. Maisy (the Amazonion ginger free loader) wanted to do dirty, dirty things to it.

Now it was into phase three for the 3-way, (so many porntastic puns it is hard to keep up) which was letting the syrup cool. More gin and tonic and classic Zoe and Li antics ensued.

Swear Scrabble with alphabet puzzles, who amongst has not played this?) 

Hmmmmm Gin.

The blueberries were now ready to go for assembling the cupcake. Did you know port reduces to candy syrup if you reduce it? WINE CANDY, PEOPLE! Just come on!

So many feels.

As we are finishing these, the doorbell rings. Why it´s another member of TSB´s fans! These ¨fans¨ just happen to be in the neighborhood, typically a couple of hours after we check in to the Bakeshop. How convenient! To be fair, the cupcakes taste better when someone else makes them, so I have been told... (hint, ya´ll need to make me some damned cupcakes).

It got dirty, fast. I just wanted to bath in it.

So many happy faces, so much deliciousness.

We totally sacrificed our dignity by fellating the cupcakes like Linda Lovelace, so here it is, the money shot.

There you have it. Three ways. Not what they had in mind I'm sure, but it had to be done.